Teabagger Meetings part 1

As it seems the teabaggers in Racine have been pretty active lately, I couldn't help but wonder what one of their meetings must be like. I call this next piece....WhiteTEA. Enjoy

It's 7:00 pm at the Chick-Fil-A. John is standing in front of a group of 12 people, all wearing cow apparel. John is in his late 50's, white with a grey mullet. His voice is low and rough with a faint southern accent even though he's never lived there.

"Listen Up! I'm calling this Tea Party meeting to order. I'd like to thank Chick-Fil-A for their patriotism in offering this deal where you if dress up like a cow then you get some chicken for free. Now that's what I call freedom people! It's promotions like that, that make this country great. U-S-A! U-S-A!"

The crowd applauds, joins the USA chant, and someone yells out "Free Bird!"

A waitress approaches the table. "Hello guys, welcome to Chick-Fil-A, what would you like to drink?" The table instantly grew silent and a look of shock spread over their faces. After a long pause, John looked at the waitress and said, "I'll have the greatest American beverage ever made little lady. I'll give you one guess what it might be."

Confused, the waitress said "Coke?"

"Hell, no!" said John. "Where the hell have you been hiding? I'm talking tea baby, sweet American tea!"

The waitress answered: "We don't have American tea. We've got English and Chinese-"

"Hold it right there!" John interrupted. "Just bring out twelve green teas. Make them as green as money baby. And none of this sugar crap. The Tea Party likes their tea salty."

Someone in the back yelled out "Can I have a latte instead?" John swung around nodded at two large white guys in the corner. They were wearing cow pajamas and udders made into hats.

"Latte?" John asked angrily. "You some kind of spy? What's the secret password? Say it!"

"Do I have to? It's kind of stupid."

John reached under his black and white spotted cow belt and pulled out a gun.

"I said say it."

"OK. The password is Dip." said the man.

John put his gun away. "Good. Everyone here knows that you can't have a tea party without dip. That's obvious."

The waitress came back with the green tea.

John continued. "Speaking of green, that brings us to the topic of our meeting today. Taxes and wasteful spending in Washington. I've been thinking a lot about it and what we need to do is come up with a protest that shows just how fed up we are with people spending money on something totally stupid. That's when I came up with an idea to fly a banner over the 4th of July parade. It will be expensive, but worth it to protest wasteful spending."

Coming soon....part 2