Teabagger Meetings part 2

When we left off, John was leading the teabaggers in a meeting at Chick-Fil-A during their free chicken if you wear a cow costume day. The idea came about to fly banners at the Fourth of July parade. The cost was high, but it was worth it to show how stupid other wasteful spending is in Madison.

A man in the back reluctantly asked, "Isn't it kind of rude to fly protest banners during the parade? This is more of a family event."

"Rude?", John asked. "I'll tell what is rude. Rude is for the government to collect taxes and spend it on programs. That money belongs to me! Got that, latte boy?".

Another asked. "What about the Republican Party? Are they ok with this?"

"Hell no", John answered. "I talked to them last week. They didn't want anything to do with this. Something about it being tacky and classless. No patriots, just like America we have to go it alone."

John pulled a chair over from one of the tables and stood on it. He took his cow spotted hat off and placed it over his heart. A lone tear streamed down his cheek an his knees trembled.

"This banner represents something bigger. Freedom and Liberty. We are leaders of the revolution to take back America from the people. Our message will ring out like the liberty bell! We are Paul Revere, and the socialists are coming. The socialists are coming. One day out on the shooting range you'll tell your grandkids about this day and they'll look up at you and say that you're the greatest patriot ever."

Captivated, the crowd watched as John outstretched his arms and looked up to the ceiling, pausing for an uncomfortable amount of time before saying "If you believe in tea, then believe in me."

The crowd enthusiastically applauded.

After the noise died down, once again the man in the back asked a question.

"So, what is the message that is going to start this revolution?"

"Yeah, tell us these great words from The John."

John got down off of his chair and motioned for silence. "I've been thinking about this for weeks. Couldn't sleep at night. What could we say that would be just as inspirational as We are the People and We hold these truths to be self evidence? What could we say in 100 characters or less that would inspire?"

"Then I came up with it. Are you ready?" The crowd drew in with anticipation and nobody moved as they waited for John's clarion call.

"Here it is: "Doyle and Mason raised your taxes." Oh, I'm not done either. Here's the other one: "Lehman is bad for Racine". Take that liberals! Boo-yah! Constitution ya'll!"

The crowd stood up and applauded....some even cried. A white lady in her late 50's fell off her chair and started twitching with excitement. They rushed to John, throwing money at him, begging to be in on the action.

"Get your guns ready people. The fight starts today. We're going to take this country back to the constitution."

The man in the back asked,"Don't we already have the constitution? These people were voted in. I thought we were going to talk about elections, and taking the country back with votes?"

John responded. "Votes won't do. There just aren't enough of us to win any kind of election. Look around. We're a bunch of old white people with guns. Words aren't really our thing. Besides, nothing says freedom like a bullet."